This week has just… It’s been bad. That’s the best way I can describe it and that doesn’t even feel like the right word either. The weekend started with me being so excijted to celebrate Mabon. We’re Pagan, so obviously we celebrate Pagan holidays. Ricky had off for the holiday and everything. I was so excited! Come Monday morning, I’m feeling a little… off? I’m lightheaded, dizzy, and got a pressuring feeling in my head. My blood pressure felt a little high but it wasn’t too bad, just causing some discomfort. My lower lip and left arm were numb though. I chopped it up to the fact my neck hurt and figured I pinched something and just needed new pillows.
Ricky and I walked up to the Dollar Tree and we were gonna stop over at a few other places just to enjoy the weather, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t catch my breath or steady my heart at all by this point. My chest hurt. So we walked back to our apartment, decided to take a break, eat some breakfast since I hadn’t yet, and just cool down since it was pretty warm out. We figured after the break, we’d head over to check mail – our mail gets delivered down the street and not where we actually live. So yeah.
I take a few bites and I just can’t stomach it. My chest pain was getting worse, my blood pressure and heart rate were all out of wack and now I was feeling nauseated. So I decided to lay down for a nap while Ricky starts the pot roast for our dinner plans that night. I laid down around 11 in the morning. Around 3:30 that afternoon, he woke me up, and I didn’t feel any better. In fact, now I felt like I had taken a handful of downers – which if you know anything about prescription meds, they can make you feel exhausted and so out of it. The scary part about this, wasn’t how I felt, but the fact that I hadn’t taken so much as an asprin so there was absolutely no logical reason for me to feel this way.
My friend, Jeannette, whose also family, lives at the same apartment complex as us so she let us borrow her blood pressure cup. It was low! But what concerned me was my heart rate was high. So I finally gave in and took a Diazepam – which I’m prescribed for because of my heart issues. I was reluctant to take one sooner because I was down to 3 left and since we just moved and I just got my insurance worked out, I don’t have any way at the moment to get refills. So I finally give in and take one. Ricky tries to get me to eat a bit and it’s just not happening.
By 6 that evening, we went up to the hospital. We went over everything with them and I ended up spending the next 2 and a half day at the hospital. Long story short, I’d had another stroke. Thankfully, it was just a small one, so I’ll be fine in time but still. The stroke also caused several ovarian cysts to burst causing severe pain. I had no idea ovarian cysts could hurt so much! I don’t even think I’ve ever had one to be honest.
In all that time, I couldn’t eat anything and I could barely drink anything. My stomach just couldn’t take it. It made me sick. Even the IV fluids made me sick. Like how does that even work? I finally got to eat a few bites when I got home early Wednesday morning. The medicine they gave me were working and while I still had absolutely no appitite, I was able to force down a little bit of noodles. Maybe 10 kid-sized bites? It was something though and that’s what counted.
Now I can manage about 1 small meal a day and maybe a snack? The medicine and all is helping and I’m doing okay. We’re working on trying to find me a cardiologist and neurologist to try and get everything on track and make sure there isn’t anything else going on besides my genetic heart condition. Right now, I can’t bend over, stand too long, walk too much, or really do any physical activity. It just makes me feel so sick and it’s so painful. Other then just needing to rest a lot, I’m doing alright. A lot better then I was on Monday & Tuesday.
I think the part that upsets me the most out of all this, is that I was really looking forward to Mabon. I did so much planning and getting things ready and together to celebrate and then we just didn’t get to. It was really disappointing. I get being sick like this is why and it wasn’t anything I could control, but I’m still disapointed. Ricky said we can celebrate it on his next day off, which is great, but I dunno. I’m just disappointed and upset over it still. I love celebrating holidays, on their holiday! Not later. It’s just not the same. I’ll get over it though.
In the mean time, I am getting some good stuff done. Since all I can do is sleep or relax and rest, I’ve been reading and working on my website stuff. My friend, Andy & I, are working to open a review website. She’s not a coder or designer or anything like that. So I’m setting everything up. I got a lot done last night though, all things considered. So I’m proud of that. I’m gonna try and continue to do so, the best that I can anyway.