Medicine…? No. …Yes.

icon Honestly, I have no idea what to blog about. :/ I’m at a complete loss of motivation. I mean, I want to get things done, but I just don’t have the push to do them. I feel like I’m just stuck in a rut. Blogging about the same old shit, doing the same old things. I don’t know, maybe I’ve just tired. I’ve been awfully tired lately. :/ I just feel like sleeping all the time.

Lately, when I get online, its just to talk on IM and rp with some friends. If my friends aren’t online though, then I just want to get right back into bed and snooze. I feel so drained. Maybe its my medicine… no, I doubt it. This has been going on for a while now.

Good news is, I went back on my medicine which I haven’t been wanting to take for the last 2 weeks (actually a little less). I know, I know. Don’t say it. Mum already did. If I don’t take my medicine I could end up really sick(er) and possibly have another heart attack, this one maybe being more severe. And I get it, I do. I just hate taking all the medicine. Kids aren’t supposed to be on so many pills. :/ I just don’t want to take the medicine.

Of course I want to feel better. I don’t want to have a heart attack and it cause permanent damage. I mean, from my first attack I ended up with TMJ. That’s nothing compared to what could have happened. I mean, some people end up with loss of motor skills, etc! I don’t want to end up like that! TMJ is bad enough, thank you.

But… all that being said. I still hate taking the medicine. I take like 4 pills every morning and about 10 pills every night. So you can see why I hate taking them. Kids aren’t supposed to take this much medicine. No kid should need this amount of medicine. Its just not right and I hate it. I don’t want to take the pills, but I want to feel better.

Well, for the last week or so, I’ve had this on going headache. It wasn’t like, a dying pain, but one of those bad nagging headaches. Finally, last night, I realized why I couldn’t get rid of it. The headache was caused by lack of blood and oxygen to the brain. If I focus on the pain, it feels like a drained, pulling feeling in my head. This happens when I don’t take my medicine. Seeing as how, I’m anaemic. So I figured, to get rid of the headache, I needed to go back on the medicine. So, I finally did, last night. So I’m back.

Mum was really pissed when she found out I wasn’t taking my medicine. And I can understand why, I can. Logically, I know I need the medicine. But in my childhood ignorance, I want to pretend that I don’t. I know, in this case, I need to come back to reality and be an adult about it. Its hard though. In that way, I’m still a kid at heart. I still don’t want to take medicine. Just like when I was a kid and had a cold. I tossed my medicine down the sink or toilet or trash when mum wasn’t looking. Lol. I don’t do that now! lol. Now, I just don’t take the medicine and leave them to sit there. Not smart.

I’m getting back on track though. I hate the headaches and I don’t want something worse to happen. So I’m going back on the medicine. It sucks, but its the right thing to do. I know how badly I need them and I know what the possible consequences are of my not taking them.

Its going to take a bit for the medicine to get back into my system, but I’m ready to go back on that road. I’m ready to get off the road of childish behaviour and laziness. Well, laziness with my medicine. xD I can still be lazy about other things! lol

Wow… I guess I did have something to blog about! Not anything too interesting, but still! :) I’ll try to write a better blog soon!